💰 SPIRITUAL CURRENCY™ – BECAUSE LITERAL CURRENCY IS A LIE 💰
📢 Attention seekers of meaning, absurdists, and those tired of trading their souls for late-stage capitalism! Have you been duped by the digital nothingness of NFTs? Well, fear not—because now there’s a currency that actually means something.
🔥 INTRODUCING: SPIRITUAL CURRENCY™ 🔥
🌀 Handcrafted in mystic ways (think: looms of fate, not sweatshops).
🎶 Rooted in music and the weavers’ spiritual threads, each coin pulses with the rhythm of the ineffable.
🧵 Infused with the sacred lineage of absurdism and pataphysics—because your reality should be as weird as you are.
Unlike those hollow, soulless, digital monkey jpegs, Spiritual Currency™ is something you can touch, believe in, and possibly use to summon eldritch wisdom at a bus stop.
HOW DO YOU GET ONE?
🚨 NOT FOR SALE. 🚨 That’s right, this hand-stitched talisman of cosmic nonsense is available only through an ancient and sacred economy known as:
🥁 RELATIONSHIP ACCUMULATION POINTS. 🥁
That’s right—no money. No crypto wallets. No stockpiling assets in a hedge fund. Only the intangible currency of connection, reciprocity, and general vibes can entice the weaver’s hand.
WHAT YOU GET:
✔️ A personalized mantra, divinely channeled and/or completely made up on the spot.
✔️ A mystical practice, tailored to your unique existential crises and/or Burning Man adventures.
✔️ A direct line to the Weavers, who operate in the thin space between cosmic absurdity and tangible craft.
WARNING: HANDLING SPIRITUAL CURRENCY™ MAY RESULT IN:
⚠️ Unshakable belief in the power of nonsense.
⚠️ A sudden shift in reality, possibly causing mild time loops.
⚠️ Uncontrollable smirking at the void.
⚠️ The realization that the medium is the message, and you are now part of the joke.
So, if you think you're worthy (or just charming enough to accumulate the proper points), you may be chosen. If not? Well, maybe try being funnier, or more mysterious, or just howl at the moon and see what happens.
🔻 SPIRITUAL CURRENCY™: FREE, BUT PRICELESS. 🔻
🚀 ACQUIRE YOURS THROUGH MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS, OR PERISH IN THE ECONOMIC DESERT. 🚀
🌀 Have You Received a Coin from Karma Against Ignorance? 🌀
Did the Weavers smile upon you? Has Spiritual Currency™ found its way into your hands? Whether your coin has guided you through absurd rituals, opened strange doorways, or simply reminded you that the medium is the message, we want to hear your story.
✨ How did it find you?
🔥 What magic (or mischief) has it sparked?
💫 Where has it traveled, and what has it whispered to you?
Share your experience with us—because in the grand game of Karma Against Ignorance, every story is a thread in the great cosmic weave.
Drop your tale in the ether (or, you know, the comments or our inbox). The Weavers are listening. 🔻
Thank You
Steward of Sacred Currency
Karmic Servant of the Sacred Ledger